Badass Biker Bob wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces
himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. Bob looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey,
breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Bob asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Badass Bob asks, "So, why is everything in order and so
clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married'!"

OK, I know it's an old one but I still think it's funny.

A biker is riding along a country lane, when a sparrow flies up in front of him. The biker can't do anything and hits the sparrow. As he looks in his rear view mirror, he sees the sparrow lying in the road. Being the kind of guy he is, he stops, picks up the sparrow and takes it home and puts it in a cage, still in a coma.

When the sparrow wakes up the following morning, he looks through the bars of the cage and says, "Shit, I must have killed the biker".

Magical Mystery Roar. 2006

Drag Stars, Wild Stars, Royal Stars too
Valkryies and Harleys, to name but a few.
Each Sunday they turn up, their owners astride
In anticipation of the days thrilling ride.

Women and men on their throbbing machines
Dressed up in leathers, helmets and jeans
But today’s ride is different, a mystery tour
Perhaps to New Forest maybe Durdle Door.

Captain is leading, he’s worked out a plot
One after the other they speed from the spot
Where minutes before they had talked and admired
Bright shiny chrome and designs all inspired.

Snake like they wind over highway and lanes
Across bridges and rivers and rails made for trains
To the coast they might head or to old country pub
To stop for a pint, a pee and some grub.

But only the leader is sure of the way
So they follow him closely for most of the day
Through village and town over snow, over frost
Oh sod it, oh bugger, oh hell Captain’s lost.

After a while they’re back on the course
With thunderous roars they scare sheep, cow and horse
Bums getting numb and hands getting twitchy
Despite the cold weather they’re still getting itchy.

90 miles clocked up, the end’s drawing near
Over the brow they all notch up 4th gear
Then soon it’s apparent their goal now in sight
Taking another sharp left and then right

“We’ve been here before” I hear someone shout
“I remember the pasty the chips and the stout”
Then the look on Clive’s face as they pull in the lane
That leads to....you’ve guessed it.....The Boozer again!

By..... Mischievous Mart